I'm just going to start by saying that last night (or early this morning) I wrote an entire post in my head. At the time, I was also being kicked in the back by an 8.5 month old little boy who insisted on sharing my bed.
This is about sleep. Why? Because it's been the topic of my life since Ty was born. Sleep is something that should be so easy and yet, it hasn't been. You just lay down, close your eyes and GO TO SLEEP. It also helps if you stay sleeping for more than an hour or two. We never had this struggle with Delia. She slept in her crib from almost the very beginning, not wanting or needing to cuddle. She woke 1-2 times during the night while she was breastfed and then not at all after she switched to formula. She slept 11-12 hours. Recently we have entered the world of nightmares with her so her sleep has been disrupted as of late, but that isn't the norm. And then along came Ty. I spent the first 5 weeks on the couch with him, either nursing throughout the night or just holding him. I felt like a zombie. Then he tricked us for about a week and a half, sleeping for 5-7 hours straight right before his 2 month appointment. AND THEN he really showed us..... he just stopped sleeping. He would wake constantly and cry, the only thing consoling him was being in my bed next to me and nursing. I could handle this some nights but not every night. I love my sleep. I really do. I've never been a morning person and having kids didn't change that. I am not against the idea of bed sharing, but it's really not for me for the long term. Now, we have made leaps and bounds since those early months with the help of a childhood friend who reached out to me after seeing my desperate posts on facebook. Did you know there was such a thing as sleep consultants for children? Yeah, I didn't either. Well, Isis Parenting is one such company that offers these services. I learned a lot about babies and their sleep habits that I didn't know before. At the same time we started our sleep support, we made some drastic changes to Ty's diet. Together they have brought about great improvement. I'm obviously still not sleeping through the night and who knows when Ty will. He still has very off nights which could be attributed to the typical teething and/or the fact that I think he's on the brink of taking a few steps on his own. In a couple years I know I'll look back and think this time wasn't really that bad. Seth will probably always tell you otherwise. For now, I spend most mornings guzzling coffee though and thinking that maybe tonight will be the night. Maybe tonight he will sleep for 8-10 straight hours.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Sunday, July 28, 2013
i just can't
"I just can't do it anymore." When I heard those words spoken today in church followed by "That is a lie that Satan wants you to believe", I immediately turned to Seth and said, "How many times have I said that recently?" I feel like it's sort of been my life motto since, oh, November? It's easy to wallow in the negativity that can surround you when you are struggling to juggle 2 young kids (one of which who has been dubbed our little terror), working, many many sleepless nights, disappointment that things haven't gone just the way I wanted with this baby and insecurity over how your body has changed after that second child. The hard part is stepping above all of that and seeing the good that your life is. That your life is filled with love from a husband, 2 beautiful healthy children, family and friends. That they see you amidst all the mess you feel you have become and even point out a strength here and there (that you don't think you have). My life has not been exactly pretty these past 8 months but it's been. Here's to the next 8 months....
Monday, January 21, 2013
2 month updates.
Since my time for blogging at the moment is seriously lacking, this might end up being a few posts wrapped into one (when I normally would have done them separately).
Ty is 2 months old today. The time has flown and yet dragged in parts as well. Life the past 3 weeks has been drastically different with him and for that, I am thankful. I wasn't sure how much longer I could go feeling less than human with all the crying despite having him attached to me 24/7. He is now smiling and cooing and spending some time discovering on his own. At this very moment he's sitting in his vibrating seat watching big sister and he's content to do that. He never would have done that a month ago. You know what's funny? I find myself almost feeling guilty at times for putting him down (and trust me, I still hold him much more than I did with Delia). Oh, the irony. He is still a healthy eater and at a doctor appointment 2 weeks ago he was already 11 lbs. Tomorrow we will go in for his 2 month well (and the dreaded vaccinations) so I'm anxious to see what he's up to. He feels solid to me. He has been sleeping pretty great for a newborn lately. I have been getting one good 5-7 hour stretch from him before he wakes to eat and then he goes back down for another 2.5-3 hours. Sometimes those last hours are spent in bed with us but I don't mind the cuddling (just not all night! We don't want to be full time co-sleepers). Delia wasn't a cuddler.
Mom (me) started up weight watchers again just about 2 weeks ago. I had the last 10-15 lbs to lose yet and unfortunately breastfeeding took all it was going to. It was almost the same exact scenario with Delia so I was expecting it. After the first week I was down (yay!) and this Wednesday will be my next weigh in. I'd really like to start exercising as well but I need to find the time. In the morning before the kids are up for the day is ideal but with Ty sleeping better, Delia has digressed so I'm still tired and staying in bed as long as the kids allow. Slowly I'll get there.
I've also started to log more hours at work (from home) and need to continue to increase that time. It's a challenge some days trying to get both kids napping at the same time however having the opportunity to do so is what I've always wanted so I'm trying not to complain. I know how difficult it would have been to leave the kids and go back to working a full time job away from them. Not to mention the added stress of pumping while away. I always hated that. So some days are crazier than others and most times the house is in disarray, but this time won't last. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
There were a few other things I wanted to touch on but little man is starting to fuss and I need to add pictures so it will have to wait.
Two months:
Sporting some cloth (still part time since he doesn't fit in all the ones we have yet):
And this is how I sometimes get work done. Fussy baby likes to be close to mom.
Ty is 2 months old today. The time has flown and yet dragged in parts as well. Life the past 3 weeks has been drastically different with him and for that, I am thankful. I wasn't sure how much longer I could go feeling less than human with all the crying despite having him attached to me 24/7. He is now smiling and cooing and spending some time discovering on his own. At this very moment he's sitting in his vibrating seat watching big sister and he's content to do that. He never would have done that a month ago. You know what's funny? I find myself almost feeling guilty at times for putting him down (and trust me, I still hold him much more than I did with Delia). Oh, the irony. He is still a healthy eater and at a doctor appointment 2 weeks ago he was already 11 lbs. Tomorrow we will go in for his 2 month well (and the dreaded vaccinations) so I'm anxious to see what he's up to. He feels solid to me. He has been sleeping pretty great for a newborn lately. I have been getting one good 5-7 hour stretch from him before he wakes to eat and then he goes back down for another 2.5-3 hours. Sometimes those last hours are spent in bed with us but I don't mind the cuddling (just not all night! We don't want to be full time co-sleepers). Delia wasn't a cuddler.
Mom (me) started up weight watchers again just about 2 weeks ago. I had the last 10-15 lbs to lose yet and unfortunately breastfeeding took all it was going to. It was almost the same exact scenario with Delia so I was expecting it. After the first week I was down (yay!) and this Wednesday will be my next weigh in. I'd really like to start exercising as well but I need to find the time. In the morning before the kids are up for the day is ideal but with Ty sleeping better, Delia has digressed so I'm still tired and staying in bed as long as the kids allow. Slowly I'll get there.
I've also started to log more hours at work (from home) and need to continue to increase that time. It's a challenge some days trying to get both kids napping at the same time however having the opportunity to do so is what I've always wanted so I'm trying not to complain. I know how difficult it would have been to leave the kids and go back to working a full time job away from them. Not to mention the added stress of pumping while away. I always hated that. So some days are crazier than others and most times the house is in disarray, but this time won't last. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
There were a few other things I wanted to touch on but little man is starting to fuss and I need to add pictures so it will have to wait.
Two months:
With our good friends Kaiti and Cece. Cece was born just two days after Ty.
Friday, January 4, 2013
the happiest baby?
Yesterday was the 6 week mark and to be frankly honest, they have been a very hard 6 weeks. The excitement of the holidays helped keep eafloat despite my lowered expectations. (Side note: I'm one of those people who has very high expectations of special occasions and I find myself either disappointed or falling into a slight depression when things are over or don't go my way). So Christmas came and went and we are now in the new year of 2013. The good news is that Ty's nights have finally improved. He's been sleeping for some longer stretches, allowing momma to sleep too, and I've had the comfort of being in my own bed instead of on the couch. I've also had a couple nights in there where my mom or sister has helped by giving him a bottle of breastmilk for one nighttime feeding and letting me sleep through it. It's amazing how refreshed even 5 consecutive hours of sleep can make a person feel. On the down side, it seemed that while his nights improved his days got worse. He would cry and fuss all day long unless I was holding him and often times while I was holding him I couldn't calm him down. On Christmas day he was showing obvious signs of reflux and cried for 4-5 hours off and on. That combined with toddler tantrums made for a Christmas I will surely remember. So the very next day I took him to the pediatrician to discuss it. We left with a prescription for zantac. I kept waiting for some wonderful change to occur that I didn't see happening and I was starting to lose my mind. My poor baby would just cry and I didn't know how to stop it. Meanwhile I've been reading The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp which discusses theories behind what causes colic in young babies and how to calm them. And just when I was about to give up, something clicked with little Ty and me. Like the fact that it's almost 11 am and he's calmly sleeping IN HIS CRIB. If you are struggling with a colicky babe I strongly recommend you read this book or watch the DVD. I'm so glad it was recommended to me. The swaddling takes practice and I am still working on it, but it's been like magic. If he's really worked up I may not be able to put him down but he'll at least stop crying while I'm holding him.
Here's an idea of how this has worked on two separate occasions...
And now he's woken up from his little nap and is probably hungry so I must go. I see happier, calmer days in our future though. :)
Here's an idea of how this has worked on two separate occasions...
And now he's woken up from his little nap and is probably hungry so I must go. I see happier, calmer days in our future though. :)
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
3 weeks old and working through this new life.
I can't tell you how many times I've thought about sitting down and writing this blog post. It started a week ago when Ty was 2 weeks old. Time passes by too quickly and it's very hard to get a moment to myself. Between a rambunctious toddler who needs to know "mom" is still her mom and a very needy newborn who likes to be held more often than not, my days are mostly a blur.
Just as he proved in the womb, Ty is a challenging baby. Our days aren't terrible but come evening and into the night he becomes very fussy. I'm lucky to get a few hours of sleep without him in my arms. I am exhausted, to say the least, and just praying that this temperament of his won't last for months. I'm not convinced he isn't showing signs of colic or reflux but I'm trying to figure out his pattern and see if it's worth going to the doctor before his 2 month check. It's very different for me as Delia was a wonderful baby. She ate roughly every 3 hours except for during growth spurts, slept in between feedings at night and would fall asleep on her own. We smothered her with attention of course, but she didn't need it to be happy. On a good note, he is a very healthy eater and had exceeded his birth weight at 2 weeks. I am exclusively breastfeeding and doing it on demand. This means he could eat anywhere from every hour to 3 hours. He really has no set routine there. We moved into size 1 diapers fairly quickly and even the newborn cloth I bought for him is already too small. He has grown out of newborn clothing but is not quite filling out 0-3 month so we are sort of in between there.
Delia is doing well in her big sister role and even though she doesn't pay him a lot of attention, what she does give him has been nothing but nice so far. I thought I would have more feelings of sadness at losing her as my only baby, but they haven't hit me. I now look at her as my "big baby" and Ty is my "little baby". As difficult as this adjustment has been for Seth and myself, I love our family. I know we will fall into some regularity eventually.
Here are a few pictures from his first few weeks of life.
Just as he proved in the womb, Ty is a challenging baby. Our days aren't terrible but come evening and into the night he becomes very fussy. I'm lucky to get a few hours of sleep without him in my arms. I am exhausted, to say the least, and just praying that this temperament of his won't last for months. I'm not convinced he isn't showing signs of colic or reflux but I'm trying to figure out his pattern and see if it's worth going to the doctor before his 2 month check. It's very different for me as Delia was a wonderful baby. She ate roughly every 3 hours except for during growth spurts, slept in between feedings at night and would fall asleep on her own. We smothered her with attention of course, but she didn't need it to be happy. On a good note, he is a very healthy eater and had exceeded his birth weight at 2 weeks. I am exclusively breastfeeding and doing it on demand. This means he could eat anywhere from every hour to 3 hours. He really has no set routine there. We moved into size 1 diapers fairly quickly and even the newborn cloth I bought for him is already too small. He has grown out of newborn clothing but is not quite filling out 0-3 month so we are sort of in between there.
Delia is doing well in her big sister role and even though she doesn't pay him a lot of attention, what she does give him has been nothing but nice so far. I thought I would have more feelings of sadness at losing her as my only baby, but they haven't hit me. I now look at her as my "big baby" and Ty is my "little baby". As difficult as this adjustment has been for Seth and myself, I love our family. I know we will fall into some regularity eventually.
Here are a few pictures from his first few weeks of life.
His first bath which he hated, obviously.
In cloth!
Milk drunk.
He loves to be worn in the k'tan.
Monday, November 26, 2012
oh happy day....the arrival of Ty Richard
Tomorrow is my due date, November 27th, and Ty arrived 6 days early at 39w1d. This is the exact same time that Miss Delia Pearl arrived. Here's the story:
Last Monday at my weekly appointment I saw the nurse practitioner, Beth. My cervical check was the same as it had been on Friday so nothing happened over the weekend which is what I had surmised. She was going to strip my membranes again (3rd time) and said she was known as having the "magic fingers" at the office. She was the one who had done it while I was pregnant with Delia which later caused me to go into labor. The times that I had this done up until now it was uncomfortable but I wouldn't say that it actually hurt. Well, this time it hurt. I knew that only meant that things were progressing toward the birth of my son, but it was a very slow process. Beth said that I was welcome to come back on Tuesday for her to do it again and that they would continue to do it as many times as I wanted up until I had to be induced. They would schedule induction between 40-41 weeks for me if I didn't go into labor. I gladly scheduled an early appointment for Tuesday morning. Monday I had a good deal of cramping and contractions that night for about 5 hours. They eventually tapered off. Tuesday's check showed that I was 3 cm and 90%. She also stripped membranes again and when she was done, she said she could be wrong but she had a feeling she may have just set my body into labor for that day/evening. I could only hope she was right. Also, my induction was set for Friday the 30th if nothing happened before then. So I left and within a couple hours I was having consistent contractions about 5-7 minutes apart that were somewhat painful. Throughout the day they intensified and became closer together. Seth and I headed over to l&d that afternoon but when I got there things started to slow down. Unfortunately I hadn't changed at all from the morning and after an hour they sent me home. I was, again, distraught and completely lost it after leaving the hospital. The contractions that I did have were still intense and a good deal of them were felt in my back. I decided to walk that night with my mom and two sisters (who came down from Allentown because we thought this was it) and my labor just continued on. My contractions were inconsistent and that's what was throwing me off. They would go from 2-3 minutes to 4-6 minutes to 5-7. They never lost intensity though. I tried taking a bath that night and even thought I might get some sleep but I couldn't. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go back to the hospital only to be told that I was the same but I was in pain and couldn't do anything else but think about it. I talked with my sister and she encouraged me just to call my doctor and speak with whomever was on call (it was Charlotte, the midwife). I did that and she said it was my decision whether I waited it out or not. I decided not to. Instead of waking up Seth and having to go through all the work of getting Delia moved or having someone come stay with her, my sister offered to take me over to be checked. We arrived at the hospital shortly before midnight. I was 5 cm! Thank goodness because I would have bawled my eyes out (again) had I still been a 3. I called Seth and told him they were admitting me and then we went through the process of getting moved to a delivery room, etc.
This labor was very hard on my back and I knew I wanted an epidural. Unfortunately it can take some time to get that since they have to draw blood, send it to the lab, notify the anesthesiologist, etc. I probably waited another two hours before he showed up or at least it felt that way. By this time Seth had made it and my mom was on her way back from Allentown since she had gone home. We had no issues getting an epidural during my labor with Delia but for some reason, this guy couldn't place it. I must have been pricked 4-5 times before he got it in. That was probably one of the worst parts. Then he felt so badly that he actually pulled up a chair and sat in my room for the next half hour to 45 minutes to make sure that the epi took. After every contraction he would ask me what I felt. I thought this was really nice of him as most doctors wouldn't do it. The epi DID take and it took well because I was pretty numb from then on. After a little while Charlotte showed up and I was at a 7 almost 8. It had been some time since I slept so I tried to do that. His heart rate kept dropping a bit at the end of my contractions so they had me on oxygen as well. At some point they broke my water and at another point my nurse came in and said my contractions were still close but they seemed to be losing intensity (they put an internal monitor on me after his heart rate was dropping). Unfortunately I don't have much of a grasp on when all these things were happening. I just knew they were. They wanted to give me just a little bit of pitocin to push me the rest of the way so I could deliver. As soon as she turned it on the lowest setting, his heart rate went again so she immediately turned it off. Charlotte came back in to check and lo and behold I was complete and ready to have a baby!
Dr. Probst, the OB whom I go to, was the one who had delivered Delia. I had a great experience and really like her. I had seen Charlotte many times in the office with no complaints but I had no idea how different the delivery might be since she is a midwife. I am very happy with the outcome. It was much less of a production, less people in the room and very laid back. She was awesome and encouraging. I didn't have to push long (20-30 minutes). Ty was a little bigger than we expected him to be though and his shoulders ended up getting stuck. She must have worked some sort of magic because despite how bad it looked while it was happening, he was born and I had minimal damage. Instead of doing all big pushes there were times where she had me do just a little push here and there. I'm so grateful.
My "little" guy was 8 lbs 6.5 oz and 20 inches. He is the cutest baby I've ever seen. He is a healthy eater and while we are still getting into a groove here, which will take some time, I'm so happy to have him. It's amazing how things build up slowly and just like that it seems they are over. I sometimes I have trouble dealing with the finality of it, but at this point I'm enjoying every little cuddle and snuggle that I can. Big sister Delia is doing great so far. She loves her "Ty Ty" and while we are working on what it means to be gentle, she loves to give him hugs and kisses. I am such a lucky girl.
Shortly after delivery:
Last Monday at my weekly appointment I saw the nurse practitioner, Beth. My cervical check was the same as it had been on Friday so nothing happened over the weekend which is what I had surmised. She was going to strip my membranes again (3rd time) and said she was known as having the "magic fingers" at the office. She was the one who had done it while I was pregnant with Delia which later caused me to go into labor. The times that I had this done up until now it was uncomfortable but I wouldn't say that it actually hurt. Well, this time it hurt. I knew that only meant that things were progressing toward the birth of my son, but it was a very slow process. Beth said that I was welcome to come back on Tuesday for her to do it again and that they would continue to do it as many times as I wanted up until I had to be induced. They would schedule induction between 40-41 weeks for me if I didn't go into labor. I gladly scheduled an early appointment for Tuesday morning. Monday I had a good deal of cramping and contractions that night for about 5 hours. They eventually tapered off. Tuesday's check showed that I was 3 cm and 90%. She also stripped membranes again and when she was done, she said she could be wrong but she had a feeling she may have just set my body into labor for that day/evening. I could only hope she was right. Also, my induction was set for Friday the 30th if nothing happened before then. So I left and within a couple hours I was having consistent contractions about 5-7 minutes apart that were somewhat painful. Throughout the day they intensified and became closer together. Seth and I headed over to l&d that afternoon but when I got there things started to slow down. Unfortunately I hadn't changed at all from the morning and after an hour they sent me home. I was, again, distraught and completely lost it after leaving the hospital. The contractions that I did have were still intense and a good deal of them were felt in my back. I decided to walk that night with my mom and two sisters (who came down from Allentown because we thought this was it) and my labor just continued on. My contractions were inconsistent and that's what was throwing me off. They would go from 2-3 minutes to 4-6 minutes to 5-7. They never lost intensity though. I tried taking a bath that night and even thought I might get some sleep but I couldn't. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go back to the hospital only to be told that I was the same but I was in pain and couldn't do anything else but think about it. I talked with my sister and she encouraged me just to call my doctor and speak with whomever was on call (it was Charlotte, the midwife). I did that and she said it was my decision whether I waited it out or not. I decided not to. Instead of waking up Seth and having to go through all the work of getting Delia moved or having someone come stay with her, my sister offered to take me over to be checked. We arrived at the hospital shortly before midnight. I was 5 cm! Thank goodness because I would have bawled my eyes out (again) had I still been a 3. I called Seth and told him they were admitting me and then we went through the process of getting moved to a delivery room, etc.
This labor was very hard on my back and I knew I wanted an epidural. Unfortunately it can take some time to get that since they have to draw blood, send it to the lab, notify the anesthesiologist, etc. I probably waited another two hours before he showed up or at least it felt that way. By this time Seth had made it and my mom was on her way back from Allentown since she had gone home. We had no issues getting an epidural during my labor with Delia but for some reason, this guy couldn't place it. I must have been pricked 4-5 times before he got it in. That was probably one of the worst parts. Then he felt so badly that he actually pulled up a chair and sat in my room for the next half hour to 45 minutes to make sure that the epi took. After every contraction he would ask me what I felt. I thought this was really nice of him as most doctors wouldn't do it. The epi DID take and it took well because I was pretty numb from then on. After a little while Charlotte showed up and I was at a 7 almost 8. It had been some time since I slept so I tried to do that. His heart rate kept dropping a bit at the end of my contractions so they had me on oxygen as well. At some point they broke my water and at another point my nurse came in and said my contractions were still close but they seemed to be losing intensity (they put an internal monitor on me after his heart rate was dropping). Unfortunately I don't have much of a grasp on when all these things were happening. I just knew they were. They wanted to give me just a little bit of pitocin to push me the rest of the way so I could deliver. As soon as she turned it on the lowest setting, his heart rate went again so she immediately turned it off. Charlotte came back in to check and lo and behold I was complete and ready to have a baby!
Dr. Probst, the OB whom I go to, was the one who had delivered Delia. I had a great experience and really like her. I had seen Charlotte many times in the office with no complaints but I had no idea how different the delivery might be since she is a midwife. I am very happy with the outcome. It was much less of a production, less people in the room and very laid back. She was awesome and encouraging. I didn't have to push long (20-30 minutes). Ty was a little bigger than we expected him to be though and his shoulders ended up getting stuck. She must have worked some sort of magic because despite how bad it looked while it was happening, he was born and I had minimal damage. Instead of doing all big pushes there were times where she had me do just a little push here and there. I'm so grateful.
My "little" guy was 8 lbs 6.5 oz and 20 inches. He is the cutest baby I've ever seen. He is a healthy eater and while we are still getting into a groove here, which will take some time, I'm so happy to have him. It's amazing how things build up slowly and just like that it seems they are over. I sometimes I have trouble dealing with the finality of it, but at this point I'm enjoying every little cuddle and snuggle that I can. Big sister Delia is doing great so far. She loves her "Ty Ty" and while we are working on what it means to be gentle, she loves to give him hugs and kisses. I am such a lucky girl.
Shortly after delivery:
Sunday, November 18, 2012
38 weeks and the neverending pregnancy.
The irony of this pregnancy (besides the obvious that I had preterm labor at 33 weeks yet am somehow still pregnant at 38 weeks) is that something that will bring me so much joy and happiness in a "short" while is currently causing so much {physical} pain and moodiness. How many times have I said that this pregnancy is very different from Delia's? I know I sound like a broken record but only because it's true. Everything was so easy and effortless with her. Despite knowing that this is it for me when it comes to using my body has a baby maker, I wonder if I had another pregnancy if it would be just as hard on me or not.
I saw my doctor twice this past week. This is the point where things may start to get a little gross and detailed but I don't think anyone who reads this blog would care. On Tuesday I asked her to strip my membranes, knowing it might not do anything. I was 1.5 cm and still about 50% so she obliged. She instructed me to go home, do what you can do at this point to naturally bring on labor (walk and have sex) and come back on Friday. I did that and also noticed some other changes in my body so I was pleased to find out on Friday morning that I had progressed to 2 cm, almost 80% effaced and the baby had moved down a bit to -2 station. Unfortunately, nothing monumental has happened since and 2 and a half days later, I'm still pregnant.
I'm sure some of you (and I know other people in my life) are wondering why this upsets me so much when I haven't reached my due date yet. I will tell you. One: I am beyond uncomfortable. Daily I have a variety of pains that I can't escape. The rib burning and back pain is the worst and it brings me very close to tears some days. Two: I've prepared myself mentally to have an early baby because of the preterm issues. It's very hard to turn that around in your head once it's no longer a possibility. Three: I am a giant, hormonal mess and I have lost all control. My daily mood swings are ridiculous. I go from being somewhat happy to okay to completely depressed within hours. Just today I had a near breakdown over a slush from sonic. Four: I don't want to be in the hospital on Thanksgiving. That one is just sort of a tag-along but it's true. I was really hoping to have this baby before then and right now I feel like that's not going to happen. I also don't want to be induced. I have this great fear of induction. I haven't had the conversation yet with my doctor and I'm also afraid that even though she might say 41 weeks is okay, I will crack and ask for it to be sooner because I'm so ready to get this baby out of my body. What's most amazing to me is that when I see that precious little baby face for the first time, all of this will seem like it was nothing.
So here I keep going....trucking along until it's my turn. Please don't tell me soon though. I can't handle that phrase anymore.
I saw my doctor twice this past week. This is the point where things may start to get a little gross and detailed but I don't think anyone who reads this blog would care. On Tuesday I asked her to strip my membranes, knowing it might not do anything. I was 1.5 cm and still about 50% so she obliged. She instructed me to go home, do what you can do at this point to naturally bring on labor (walk and have sex) and come back on Friday. I did that and also noticed some other changes in my body so I was pleased to find out on Friday morning that I had progressed to 2 cm, almost 80% effaced and the baby had moved down a bit to -2 station. Unfortunately, nothing monumental has happened since and 2 and a half days later, I'm still pregnant.
I'm sure some of you (and I know other people in my life) are wondering why this upsets me so much when I haven't reached my due date yet. I will tell you. One: I am beyond uncomfortable. Daily I have a variety of pains that I can't escape. The rib burning and back pain is the worst and it brings me very close to tears some days. Two: I've prepared myself mentally to have an early baby because of the preterm issues. It's very hard to turn that around in your head once it's no longer a possibility. Three: I am a giant, hormonal mess and I have lost all control. My daily mood swings are ridiculous. I go from being somewhat happy to okay to completely depressed within hours. Just today I had a near breakdown over a slush from sonic. Four: I don't want to be in the hospital on Thanksgiving. That one is just sort of a tag-along but it's true. I was really hoping to have this baby before then and right now I feel like that's not going to happen. I also don't want to be induced. I have this great fear of induction. I haven't had the conversation yet with my doctor and I'm also afraid that even though she might say 41 weeks is okay, I will crack and ask for it to be sooner because I'm so ready to get this baby out of my body. What's most amazing to me is that when I see that precious little baby face for the first time, all of this will seem like it was nothing.
So here I keep going....trucking along until it's my turn. Please don't tell me soon though. I can't handle that phrase anymore.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
37 weeks and my water broke! uh, just kidding.
So I made it 37 weeks (yayyy....please note my sarcasm). 37 weeks is generally considered full term in pregnancy however I've sort of been considering myself that since 35 weeks. I really hit a low this week. At my appointment on Tuesday I found out I've had little to no progress despite all the contractions I experienced over last weekend. I really thought that something would have happened and I barely made it out of the doctor's office without crying. I am just So. Done. In addition, this little guy has made a habit of hanging out only on the right side of my belly. He likes to keep his feet up in my ribs and it's resulted in a constant burning throughout the day. I can't even sit straight up comfortably. Standing helps but I also can't stand all day. It's a very frustrating place to be in.
My sister has been walking with me at the mall every few days. We do about 1.5-2 hours each time and each time I contract constantly and have pressure. Then it all stops after I get home and drink some water. It's such a tease. On Friday evening we went out again. Just before 8 we decided to leave for home and as I was pulling my coat from the back of the car and standing in the parking lot, my water broke! It was this uncontrollable gush of fluid that soaked me from my waist to my feet, even my beloved Toms. I just sort of stood there in the dark parking lot, with a small puddle beneath me, and didn't know what to do next. My sister came back out of the car and asked why I wasn't getting in. I told her I either peed myself A LOT or my water broke. She rushed over to my side of the car and confirmed what I thought, water. So she got in the driver's seat and we took a quick trip back to her house for towels. I called Seth and let him know what was happening and then called my doctor who said to just go over to triage so they could check things out. I really couldn't believe this. My water didn't break at the start of labor with Delia and I already had an epidural when they did it in the hospital. I drove home and experienced a couple more small gushes just before getting in to the house. Seth already called his parents who were on their way to stay with Delia. I packed up the rest of my bag and thought, "well, this is really it....finally after all this preterm stuff".
It was a busy night at triage and we had to wait a little while for a bed. Once you're settled they do a test to confirm that it is amniotic fluid leaking by swabbing and then looking at it under a microscope. They asked me a lot of questions and I very quickly got the feeling that they didn't think my water had broken. After looking under the scope, the midwife came in and told me it was not fluid but discharge and they were sending me home. I was shocked. I told her again how much had come out of me. I knew it wasn't pee and I had never heard of discharge soaking your pants down to your feet. It was a gush of liquid, not some little trickle. I was (and still am) so upset. I couldn't believe I was going through this after everything else. She said sometimes there are pockets that can build up and release (again, never heard of this before) but would do an ultrasound to measure the fluid just to be sure. A resident came up to do the ultrasound and he said I had an abundance of fluid (maybe a little more than average) and a healthy looking baby. So that's it, I wasn't in labor and home I went. I was angry, emotional, upset and I cried.
I know these last few weeks are a drop in time but they feel so long when you are going through them. I always remind myself so that I don't say something foolish to a pregnant woman at the end of her pregnancy. I find that people very quickly forget how miserable they were and lack the sympathy that we overly hormonal preggos need. Soon this guy will come and I will have him in my arms. I just really hope I don't have to go through any more false alarms. Emotionally, I don't think I can handle it.
My sister has been walking with me at the mall every few days. We do about 1.5-2 hours each time and each time I contract constantly and have pressure. Then it all stops after I get home and drink some water. It's such a tease. On Friday evening we went out again. Just before 8 we decided to leave for home and as I was pulling my coat from the back of the car and standing in the parking lot, my water broke! It was this uncontrollable gush of fluid that soaked me from my waist to my feet, even my beloved Toms. I just sort of stood there in the dark parking lot, with a small puddle beneath me, and didn't know what to do next. My sister came back out of the car and asked why I wasn't getting in. I told her I either peed myself A LOT or my water broke. She rushed over to my side of the car and confirmed what I thought, water. So she got in the driver's seat and we took a quick trip back to her house for towels. I called Seth and let him know what was happening and then called my doctor who said to just go over to triage so they could check things out. I really couldn't believe this. My water didn't break at the start of labor with Delia and I already had an epidural when they did it in the hospital. I drove home and experienced a couple more small gushes just before getting in to the house. Seth already called his parents who were on their way to stay with Delia. I packed up the rest of my bag and thought, "well, this is really it....finally after all this preterm stuff".
It was a busy night at triage and we had to wait a little while for a bed. Once you're settled they do a test to confirm that it is amniotic fluid leaking by swabbing and then looking at it under a microscope. They asked me a lot of questions and I very quickly got the feeling that they didn't think my water had broken. After looking under the scope, the midwife came in and told me it was not fluid but discharge and they were sending me home. I was shocked. I told her again how much had come out of me. I knew it wasn't pee and I had never heard of discharge soaking your pants down to your feet. It was a gush of liquid, not some little trickle. I was (and still am) so upset. I couldn't believe I was going through this after everything else. She said sometimes there are pockets that can build up and release (again, never heard of this before) but would do an ultrasound to measure the fluid just to be sure. A resident came up to do the ultrasound and he said I had an abundance of fluid (maybe a little more than average) and a healthy looking baby. So that's it, I wasn't in labor and home I went. I was angry, emotional, upset and I cried.
I know these last few weeks are a drop in time but they feel so long when you are going through them. I always remind myself so that I don't say something foolish to a pregnant woman at the end of her pregnancy. I find that people very quickly forget how miserable they were and lack the sympathy that we overly hormonal preggos need. Soon this guy will come and I will have him in my arms. I just really hope I don't have to go through any more false alarms. Emotionally, I don't think I can handle it.
Friday, November 2, 2012
36 weeks and hurricane sandy.
It's been an interesting week. Monday morning I had my weekly doctor appointment and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed that there had been no progress. It's good though because it means the pills were doing their job. My GBS test results were negative (no IV meds needed during delivery) and my 3 hour glucose tolerance results were all normal draws (I knew it!). So I'm glad all that nonsense is over. Tuesday was the day to stop the procardia. I think my 11:30am pill was the last one I took and I wasn't quite sure what to expect. They said I would experience a "tsunami of contractions" but I didn't know how soon it would start. To top it off, Hurricane Sandy rolled in and we lost our power on Monday night. On Tuesday Seth, Delia and I took ourselves over to my sister's house who still had electricity to spend the day. We spent Tuesday night at home and while watching a movie on the laptop, I started to experience some contractions. Nothing a few bottles of water couldn't help though. On Wednesday, still without power and a house becoming ever colder, Delia and I went back to my sister's (Seth's company opened up again). Since Wednesday was Halloween, we took Delia trick or treating that night and I decided to join in on the walking in hopes that it would help move things along. Our power returned Wednesday night but we stayed at my sister's house since we had already planned on it. I'm so thankful that we could crash with her but I was happy to be able to go home on Thursday. Unfortunately, we didn't do much to save anything in our refrigerator or freezer so upon my return home, I basically just cleaned out the whole thing. That was not on my list of nesting tasks but I suppose it needed to be done anyway. I also did some laundry, general cleaning up and made a trip to the grocery store (with Delia in tow) to restock some essentials. I overdid it, as I usually do, and I was having constant contractions throughout the day. As fast as they were coming, they still weren't "real" labor though and after I finally took a break, sat down and guzzled water, they tapered off. I was able to rest a bit on the couch which turned out to be beneficial because I was so stuffed up overnight that I didn't sleep much.
I am admittedly miserable. I'm never comfortable, I can't do anything easily and I'd much rather have this little guy on the outside instead of the inside right now. I know I'm weeks away from my due date but I really hope he comes early now that I know they won't stop him. I plan on trying some natural induction methods this weekend.
Picture update:
36 weeks.
36 weeks, 3 days. I only added this because it's the one time I've managed to put boots on this pregnancy. Noteworthy of course.
I am admittedly miserable. I'm never comfortable, I can't do anything easily and I'd much rather have this little guy on the outside instead of the inside right now. I know I'm weeks away from my due date but I really hope he comes early now that I know they won't stop him. I plan on trying some natural induction methods this weekend.
Picture update:
36 weeks.
36 weeks, 3 days. I only added this because it's the one time I've managed to put boots on this pregnancy. Noteworthy of course.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
35 (almost 36) weeks. still preggo.
Well, we made it through the hard part. At my appointment this past Monday, my doctor officially released me from bed rest. She said, "Not to sound rude, but I don't care what you do from here on out." Most people will think 35 weeks is still too soon to have a baby and I admit, I'd like him to cook a bit longer, but I feel much more comfortable now than I did 2 weeks ago. The steroid shots have developed his lungs to that of 37 weeks gestation (which is generally considered full term). I am still taking procardia but I am now on an every 6 hour cycle instead of 4. On Tuesday I will stop them completely. My contractions have not completely disappeared and now that I'm actually up moving around a little more they have increased. The worst is yet to come though. Apparently when you stop taking this medicine, contractions will hit like a tsunami. This could last for a couple days. Now I'm just concerned that I'll be so used to it that I won't know when the real labor actually starts! My water didn't break on its own with Delia and I can't assume that it will this time. Then at least I'd have a sure sign. I sort of feel like a first time mom all over again since this pregnancy has been drastically different from the first. I barely had any braxton hicks then and when contractions started, they were the real thing.
Without the help of my family staying with me (my sister Kelsey and my mom) and all the wonderful meals that were brought to us by friends, I would not have been able to follow the bed rest restrictions. With a 20 month old, it's pretty impossible to sit on a couch all day. We've had such great help and I'm very, very thankful for that. Seth and I are so fortunate to have family that's close and friends that care.
If I could guarantee his health, I'd have this little guy today. I'm so uncomfortable. I don't sleep well between taking the pills, going to the bathroom and general pregnancy aches and pains. I'm really looking forward to the benefit of all these things. Just a few more weeks, right?
34 week belly.....he dropped causing more reasons to be uncomfortable.
35 weeks belly
Without the help of my family staying with me (my sister Kelsey and my mom) and all the wonderful meals that were brought to us by friends, I would not have been able to follow the bed rest restrictions. With a 20 month old, it's pretty impossible to sit on a couch all day. We've had such great help and I'm very, very thankful for that. Seth and I are so fortunate to have family that's close and friends that care.
If I could guarantee his health, I'd have this little guy today. I'm so uncomfortable. I don't sleep well between taking the pills, going to the bathroom and general pregnancy aches and pains. I'm really looking forward to the benefit of all these things. Just a few more weeks, right?
34 week belly.....he dropped causing more reasons to be uncomfortable.
35 weeks belly
Sunday, October 14, 2012
heading to week 34 and preterm labor.
So yeah, I never thought I'd be one of these people. High risk pregnancies are not uncommon. I know people that have experienced them and I feel horrible saying that I've never paid much attention to it. I had a perfect uncomplicated pregnancy my first time around. I'm young, generally in good health and there never seemed a reason to worry. I didn't think I'd be joining this club.
Here's the story:
Probably around the time I last posted, I had started experiencing some braxton hicks (BH) contractions. Again, not uncommon in your third trimester. Unfortunately I seemed to be experiencing them more often than I should have been. I let it go for quite some time, pushing it off to the back of my mind and continuing on with my very hectic life. A week ago Friday while sitting at work I had been feeling okay and was hit by several BH right in a row accompanied by sudden intense back pain. Normally I wouldn't think anything of the back pain as that's been present for most of my pregnancy but I had a mother to be massage earlier in the week and my back was actually feeling quite good. My sister said she thought it was time I called the doctor. We go to the same OB/GYN and her having 4 kids herself, I trusted her judgment. I know she's like me and tends to push herself more than she should so if she thought I should call, then I should probably call. My midwife was on call as it was already after hours and she told me to leave work, take some tylenol, a nice hot bath, drink a lot of water and rest. Doing these things seemed to help some and I went on with the weekend as normal. Monday morning was my scheduled appointment. We discussed the contractions I'd been experiencing and the Friday night incident. She decided to check me and do a fetal fibronectin test since I was still pretty early along. The check proved that my cervix was still long and closed (great news) and the test results would take a few hours to come back. I was informed that if I did not hear from her, the results were negative and everything was fine. The downside to this appointment was that I failed my second 1 hour glucose tolerance test by a few points and they wanted me to take the 3 hour one plus I was slightly anemic and needed iron supplements.
Side note: A fetal fibronectin test is a better indication that preterm labor will NOT occur. It is usually used to rule out this possibility. If positive, that really only means that there is a chance the woman will experience preterm labor in the next 2 weeks.
I did not hear from my midwife on Monday afternoon so I assumed the results were negative and everything was peachy. On Tuesday morning she called me. She said the lab did not contact her with the results and she followed up that morning. My test showed positive (a chance I could experience preterm labor) and because I was still early at only 33 weeks, they wanted me to to get steroid shots to help develop the baby's lungs. I was sent over to the OB triage unit at the hospital for the first shot and monitoring. The shots must be given 24 hours apart so I knew I would have to make a trip on Wednesday as well. So Tuesday was fun. I spent about 5 hours in l&d. Once hooked up to all the monitors they could see that I was contracting quite often, even ones I didn't feel. I was put on IV fluids and given two doses of some other medicine (can't remember the name) to help stop the contractions. This medicine made my heart race like crazy. I was checked again and had no change in cervix. After the second injection of this medicine, they agreed that I could go home.
Tuesday night I was awake all night with consistent, long BH. They weren't necessarily painful but they were strong. I didn't call because I knew I was going back in the next day, but perhaps I should have. I was back at triage around 12:30-1 on Wednesday, hooked up to monitors, getting more shots and just hanging out. I was checked again and was 30% effaced and 1 cm. Not good because that means it happened overnight. My OB came in to see me and decided she wanted me to stay for monitoring until at least 8pm. They were going to continue with fluids and try some meds to stop contractions. It became apparent pretty quickly that these methods weren't working so the next step was magnesium. I've heard some things about this and I wasn't excited. Apparently it's very beneficial for the baby but not a party for the mom. It made me hot, weak and gave me flu like symptoms. I did fairly well on it for the first 12-15 hours but after that I was starting to lose my positive attitude. I couldn't get out of bed during that time so that means a catheter :( and I couldn't sleep. I was on magnesium until about 4:30pm on Thursday and then they started an oral medicine called procardia. My contractions had not been eliminated completely but they had definitely spaced out. My OB felt that should they be held at bay overnight during observation, I would be allowed to go home. Friday I was released with a prescription to take procardia every 4 hours and bed rest.
That leaves me here, living by an alarm. I'm really not allowed to do much but go to the bathroom. Fortunately we have one on each floor. I can't do steps more than 2-3 times a day. It's really hard to stick to these guidelines but Seth has been amazing and my sister Kelsey is staying with us for the week. My doctor would really like me to get to Tuesday - 34 weeks - and then work on making it to the following Tuesday at 35 weeks. She said she won't keep restrictions on me at that point even though it will still be early. It will give the baby sufficient time to have the steroid shots do their job and there will be a greater chance he won't spend any time in the NICU. Of course there could still be issues but I'm trying not to think about all of that. I'm leaning on the support of all my wonderful family and friends. I know that other than following the doctor's orders, this is out of my control. Some women experience these things and then go on to carry full term. I honestly don't believe that will be the case for me because I do still have some contractions, although not consistent. I have a strong feeling that once I'm off the meds and moving around again, things will kick into high gear. A preterm baby is never anyone's expectations but it happens. I just want him to be as healthy as possible when he does finally arrive.
Hopefully these aren't the last few pictures!
Here's the story:
Probably around the time I last posted, I had started experiencing some braxton hicks (BH) contractions. Again, not uncommon in your third trimester. Unfortunately I seemed to be experiencing them more often than I should have been. I let it go for quite some time, pushing it off to the back of my mind and continuing on with my very hectic life. A week ago Friday while sitting at work I had been feeling okay and was hit by several BH right in a row accompanied by sudden intense back pain. Normally I wouldn't think anything of the back pain as that's been present for most of my pregnancy but I had a mother to be massage earlier in the week and my back was actually feeling quite good. My sister said she thought it was time I called the doctor. We go to the same OB/GYN and her having 4 kids herself, I trusted her judgment. I know she's like me and tends to push herself more than she should so if she thought I should call, then I should probably call. My midwife was on call as it was already after hours and she told me to leave work, take some tylenol, a nice hot bath, drink a lot of water and rest. Doing these things seemed to help some and I went on with the weekend as normal. Monday morning was my scheduled appointment. We discussed the contractions I'd been experiencing and the Friday night incident. She decided to check me and do a fetal fibronectin test since I was still pretty early along. The check proved that my cervix was still long and closed (great news) and the test results would take a few hours to come back. I was informed that if I did not hear from her, the results were negative and everything was fine. The downside to this appointment was that I failed my second 1 hour glucose tolerance test by a few points and they wanted me to take the 3 hour one plus I was slightly anemic and needed iron supplements.
Side note: A fetal fibronectin test is a better indication that preterm labor will NOT occur. It is usually used to rule out this possibility. If positive, that really only means that there is a chance the woman will experience preterm labor in the next 2 weeks.
I did not hear from my midwife on Monday afternoon so I assumed the results were negative and everything was peachy. On Tuesday morning she called me. She said the lab did not contact her with the results and she followed up that morning. My test showed positive (a chance I could experience preterm labor) and because I was still early at only 33 weeks, they wanted me to to get steroid shots to help develop the baby's lungs. I was sent over to the OB triage unit at the hospital for the first shot and monitoring. The shots must be given 24 hours apart so I knew I would have to make a trip on Wednesday as well. So Tuesday was fun. I spent about 5 hours in l&d. Once hooked up to all the monitors they could see that I was contracting quite often, even ones I didn't feel. I was put on IV fluids and given two doses of some other medicine (can't remember the name) to help stop the contractions. This medicine made my heart race like crazy. I was checked again and had no change in cervix. After the second injection of this medicine, they agreed that I could go home.
Tuesday night I was awake all night with consistent, long BH. They weren't necessarily painful but they were strong. I didn't call because I knew I was going back in the next day, but perhaps I should have. I was back at triage around 12:30-1 on Wednesday, hooked up to monitors, getting more shots and just hanging out. I was checked again and was 30% effaced and 1 cm. Not good because that means it happened overnight. My OB came in to see me and decided she wanted me to stay for monitoring until at least 8pm. They were going to continue with fluids and try some meds to stop contractions. It became apparent pretty quickly that these methods weren't working so the next step was magnesium. I've heard some things about this and I wasn't excited. Apparently it's very beneficial for the baby but not a party for the mom. It made me hot, weak and gave me flu like symptoms. I did fairly well on it for the first 12-15 hours but after that I was starting to lose my positive attitude. I couldn't get out of bed during that time so that means a catheter :( and I couldn't sleep. I was on magnesium until about 4:30pm on Thursday and then they started an oral medicine called procardia. My contractions had not been eliminated completely but they had definitely spaced out. My OB felt that should they be held at bay overnight during observation, I would be allowed to go home. Friday I was released with a prescription to take procardia every 4 hours and bed rest.
That leaves me here, living by an alarm. I'm really not allowed to do much but go to the bathroom. Fortunately we have one on each floor. I can't do steps more than 2-3 times a day. It's really hard to stick to these guidelines but Seth has been amazing and my sister Kelsey is staying with us for the week. My doctor would really like me to get to Tuesday - 34 weeks - and then work on making it to the following Tuesday at 35 weeks. She said she won't keep restrictions on me at that point even though it will still be early. It will give the baby sufficient time to have the steroid shots do their job and there will be a greater chance he won't spend any time in the NICU. Of course there could still be issues but I'm trying not to think about all of that. I'm leaning on the support of all my wonderful family and friends. I know that other than following the doctor's orders, this is out of my control. Some women experience these things and then go on to carry full term. I honestly don't believe that will be the case for me because I do still have some contractions, although not consistent. I have a strong feeling that once I'm off the meds and moving around again, things will kick into high gear. A preterm baby is never anyone's expectations but it happens. I just want him to be as healthy as possible when he does finally arrive.
Hopefully these aren't the last few pictures!
Sunday, September 23, 2012
what week am I at again?
With this pregnancy, I find myself constantly forgetting how far I am without actually thinking about it first. I guess that's what happens when you are working a full time job, taking care of a toddler, trying to still be a decent wife AND deal with extra, outside things. Man, it was so much easier the first time around.
I'm 30 weeks, 5 days. More than 3/4 way there. Tomorrow I have a doctor appointment and then I go every 2 weeks. At 35/36 weeks I start going every week. When I think about it in those terms, I realize how close I am to the end. I find myself somewhere between excited and anxious. Excited to meet my little boy and be a mom to a newborn again. Anxious because we aren't ready for him to arrive at the moment. I still have nothing to report on the progress of his room other than the fact that I ordered some super adorable crib sheets and a matching blanket.
I know I talked about it last time but I am growing increasingly uncomfortable. I'm sitting for many hours a day at a desk and typically end up with a sore back. Seth just gave me the go ahead on a mother to be massage so I'm looking forward to scheduling that. I'm thinking sometime the first or second week of October. The acid reflux really picked up too. It was getting so bad that it was keeping me awake in the middle of the night. I called my doctor and they gave me several over the counter things to try as well as raw cauliflower (?) and papaya. I bought the zantac and started taking one before bed. It's made a huge difference and allows me to get several hours of sleep in a row. He is just as active as ever. He tends to prefer my right side and occasionally will curl (what feels like) his whole body up on that side. It does not feel good at all. I also know he's getting bigger in there because I've had moments where I'm unable to breathe properly because of how he's situated. These are the wonderful aspects of the 3rd trimester. :)
I also had to go buy two new pairs of jeans. I needed the ever so attractive full panel this time since I am carrying more in front and lower. Most of the pants I had from Delia were under belly and they were very, very uncomfortable. I wasn't thrilled to have to spend money but it seemed necessary to get me through to the end.
And of course a picture recap...29 weeks
30 weeks.
I'm 30 weeks, 5 days. More than 3/4 way there. Tomorrow I have a doctor appointment and then I go every 2 weeks. At 35/36 weeks I start going every week. When I think about it in those terms, I realize how close I am to the end. I find myself somewhere between excited and anxious. Excited to meet my little boy and be a mom to a newborn again. Anxious because we aren't ready for him to arrive at the moment. I still have nothing to report on the progress of his room other than the fact that I ordered some super adorable crib sheets and a matching blanket.
I know I talked about it last time but I am growing increasingly uncomfortable. I'm sitting for many hours a day at a desk and typically end up with a sore back. Seth just gave me the go ahead on a mother to be massage so I'm looking forward to scheduling that. I'm thinking sometime the first or second week of October. The acid reflux really picked up too. It was getting so bad that it was keeping me awake in the middle of the night. I called my doctor and they gave me several over the counter things to try as well as raw cauliflower (?) and papaya. I bought the zantac and started taking one before bed. It's made a huge difference and allows me to get several hours of sleep in a row. He is just as active as ever. He tends to prefer my right side and occasionally will curl (what feels like) his whole body up on that side. It does not feel good at all. I also know he's getting bigger in there because I've had moments where I'm unable to breathe properly because of how he's situated. These are the wonderful aspects of the 3rd trimester. :)
I also had to go buy two new pairs of jeans. I needed the ever so attractive full panel this time since I am carrying more in front and lower. Most of the pants I had from Delia were under belly and they were very, very uncomfortable. I wasn't thrilled to have to spend money but it seemed necessary to get me through to the end.
And of course a picture recap...29 weeks
30 weeks.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
weeks 26-28.
Did I mention that all of a sudden my pregnancy seems to be in fast forward? Going back to work full time leaves less time to actually bask in the moments that are left. This makes me sad as we will go from a family of 3 to a family of 4 in less than 3 months. I know I'm not the first mother ever to be concerned about how their firstborn (and currently only) child will react to a sibling. I'm glad that Delia is young enough not to have been an only child for too long yet worried enough that she will feel pushed to the side. While she can't possibly understand how special of a place she holds in my heart, I hope that she will always feel my love. She MADE me a mother. Any additional child will just add on to this wonderful experience. Thoughts on this topic come and go, but I'll just leave them there for now.
As far as the pregnant part, it's beginning to get pretty tough. I feel large (which I sort of am since I have gained 30 lbs), I tire easily, and most movements are difficult. Sitting in a computer chair 8-10 hours a day is not comfortable. Walking for long periods is not comfortable. Sleeping is not comfortable. This little guy is quite the mover and his little jabs and kicks are sometimes painful. As I type this he's been kickboxing right behind my belly button which is the WORST spot to do that. I don't know why but it really hurts. I try to push back at him in hopes he will move positions but it doesn't seem to be working. He is much more active than Delia ever was and I never considered her to be a lazy baby.
We still have a ways to go with being prepared for his arrival. At the moment he doesn't have a place to sleep. I'm starting to feel anxious about this, but I should know from previous experiences that it will all be worked out before it needs to be. I just like to feel ready and I don't yet. Knowing I have less time to do things does not help the cause. I really need Seth to get motivated though because he has to do most of the work. I guess I'll just keep on nagging, haha. Hopefully by next update I will have something to report.
Picture recap:
26 weeks.
27 weeks.
28 weeks - 3rd trimester!
As far as the pregnant part, it's beginning to get pretty tough. I feel large (which I sort of am since I have gained 30 lbs), I tire easily, and most movements are difficult. Sitting in a computer chair 8-10 hours a day is not comfortable. Walking for long periods is not comfortable. Sleeping is not comfortable. This little guy is quite the mover and his little jabs and kicks are sometimes painful. As I type this he's been kickboxing right behind my belly button which is the WORST spot to do that. I don't know why but it really hurts. I try to push back at him in hopes he will move positions but it doesn't seem to be working. He is much more active than Delia ever was and I never considered her to be a lazy baby.
We still have a ways to go with being prepared for his arrival. At the moment he doesn't have a place to sleep. I'm starting to feel anxious about this, but I should know from previous experiences that it will all be worked out before it needs to be. I just like to feel ready and I don't yet. Knowing I have less time to do things does not help the cause. I really need Seth to get motivated though because he has to do most of the work. I guess I'll just keep on nagging, haha. Hopefully by next update I will have something to report.
Picture recap:
26 weeks.
27 weeks.
28 weeks - 3rd trimester!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
weeks 24, 25... things are getting harder.
I'm not sleeping well at all. I feel huge. Little boy likes to get in weird positions and force terrible pressure on my sides which in turn makes my back hurt. These are the (not so) wonderful parts of pregnancy that I fully expected. I did not expect them to happen this early on though. I still tell people I feel good and in all honesty, I do most of the time. But when I compare this pregnancy to my first, it's definitely not as easy. For one, I'm mom of a toddler. I've also started working again and our life is very hectic.
Good news is that my glucose test came back normal. I met with the doctor again this past Monday and I had no weight gain in 2 weeks. She would like me to "watch" my carb and fruit intake. Two of my favorite things, unfortunately, I'm trying to be a little more mindful of it, but it IS hard when I know that I don't have gestational diabetes and am just trying to slow down the weight gain. I am still measuring ahead by 2 weeks right now. This could explain why I feel so big. It's beginning to look like I may have a very big baby. Yikes. Delia was only 7 lbs at birth.
Picture updates:
24 weeks
25 weeks
Good news is that my glucose test came back normal. I met with the doctor again this past Monday and I had no weight gain in 2 weeks. She would like me to "watch" my carb and fruit intake. Two of my favorite things, unfortunately, I'm trying to be a little more mindful of it, but it IS hard when I know that I don't have gestational diabetes and am just trying to slow down the weight gain. I am still measuring ahead by 2 weeks right now. This could explain why I feel so big. It's beginning to look like I may have a very big baby. Yikes. Delia was only 7 lbs at birth.
Picture updates:
24 weeks
25 weeks
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
weeks 22, 23.
Guess I'll have to settle for an update every 2 weeks if it's all I can manage. Real life is getting a little hectic over here so while I do remember to snap a quick photo on my weekly day change, that's about it.
My transverse little boy has definitely not moved. I feel his feet kicking me waaaaay over on my right side. Punches happen towards the left side, down low and up high. I really hope he doesn't decide to become too comfortable in this position and that he moves before he gets much bigger. Some nights I'm very uncomfortable with pressure out both sides. This in turn ends up making my back hurt. First babies tend to not move as much because there isn't enough room to. Second, third and so on babies have more room because the ligaments and such are already stretched out and "broken" says my OB. Thanks. Thanks for letting me know I'm broken. Really, I appreciate that.
My monthly check was on Monday and I saw the OB. Our office rotates you between the OB, midwife and nurse practitioner during pregnancy. I've mentioned it before, but at this appointment just a day shy of 23 weeks, I have gained 25 lbs. This is a much quicker gain than I had with Delia and the doctor was just a bit concerned that it's happening. She sent me early for my glucose test just to make sure there isn't anything wrong. The original script they gave me said to go between weeks 26-28 but she told me to go right away. So yesterday morning I went for the 1 hour test. For those who don't know what this is, basically you have to drink a super sugary flat soda like liquid, sit for an hour and then have a blood draw. If the results are above a certain number, they send you for a 3 hour test. If you don't pass that test, you are diagnosed with gestational diabetes and put on a specific diet to help control your sugars. In some cases diet alone doesn't help and meds or insulin may be needed. I'm not jumping ahead that far but it all has crossed my mind. If I'm lucky, just a diet will be needed. I have a follow up appointment with the doctor in 2 weeks and we'll go from there.
22 weeks.
23 weeks.
My transverse little boy has definitely not moved. I feel his feet kicking me waaaaay over on my right side. Punches happen towards the left side, down low and up high. I really hope he doesn't decide to become too comfortable in this position and that he moves before he gets much bigger. Some nights I'm very uncomfortable with pressure out both sides. This in turn ends up making my back hurt. First babies tend to not move as much because there isn't enough room to. Second, third and so on babies have more room because the ligaments and such are already stretched out and "broken" says my OB. Thanks. Thanks for letting me know I'm broken. Really, I appreciate that.
My monthly check was on Monday and I saw the OB. Our office rotates you between the OB, midwife and nurse practitioner during pregnancy. I've mentioned it before, but at this appointment just a day shy of 23 weeks, I have gained 25 lbs. This is a much quicker gain than I had with Delia and the doctor was just a bit concerned that it's happening. She sent me early for my glucose test just to make sure there isn't anything wrong. The original script they gave me said to go between weeks 26-28 but she told me to go right away. So yesterday morning I went for the 1 hour test. For those who don't know what this is, basically you have to drink a super sugary flat soda like liquid, sit for an hour and then have a blood draw. If the results are above a certain number, they send you for a 3 hour test. If you don't pass that test, you are diagnosed with gestational diabetes and put on a specific diet to help control your sugars. In some cases diet alone doesn't help and meds or insulin may be needed. I'm not jumping ahead that far but it all has crossed my mind. If I'm lucky, just a diet will be needed. I have a follow up appointment with the doctor in 2 weeks and we'll go from there.
22 weeks.
23 weeks.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
time for camo, trucks, trains and sports....
Yup, it's a boy! I feel a little sense of pride knowing my mother's intuition was right a second time (despite only having two choices). Our family of four will be rounded out with a new baby boy and I am thrilled. As exciting as it would have been to have a second little girl, I don't have an ounce of disappointment. Our baby is healthy and active and that's what truly matters to me. I am still measuring ahead (22 weeks, 1 day) when I am only 21 weeks today. That seems to be the trend though. Delia was 6 days early and I have a feeling I won't go the full 40 weeks with this one, but we'll see. I'll do my best to avoid an induction because honestly, pitocin scares me.
So now we move on to actually talking about names. I had a handful of girl names in mind that I really liked which of course I won't need now. Boy names always seem to be harder for me though. Seth and I looked at a few lists last night and we both kind of liked one or two, surprisingly. We will be keeping the name a secret until the birth as we did with Delia so no revealing here, but I'm wondering if this will be easier than I thought!
Here are a few u/s pictures from last night....
Profile and hand.
Itty bitty feet.
Baby's first little onesie bought by me. :)
So now we move on to actually talking about names. I had a handful of girl names in mind that I really liked which of course I won't need now. Boy names always seem to be harder for me though. Seth and I looked at a few lists last night and we both kind of liked one or two, surprisingly. We will be keeping the name a secret until the birth as we did with Delia so no revealing here, but I'm wondering if this will be easier than I thought!
Here are a few u/s pictures from last night....
Profile and hand.
Itty bitty feet.
Baby's first little onesie bought by me. :)
Friday, July 13, 2012
weeks 19 & 20...halfway there.
I made it to 20 weeks. For whatever reason, making it halfway always seems like a huge milestone. I still don't feel like my pregnancy is flying by or dragging.....it's just floating along. Baby Artie is moving a lot more these days and it's comforting. It's something I know I'll miss when I'm not pregnant anymore. I'm also really thinking of him as a "he". I'm gaining weight steadily and I feel like it's all going to my belly (and maybe a bit to my butt and thighs;). I've been comparing some pictures of this far along with Delia to now, and I am carrying differently too. Fortunately, I only have 4 more days until we hopefully find out the gender! My ultrasound is Monday evening. Honestly, I'm not very anxious at all. I think I've come to terms with waiting so it will just be a nice surprise. I will be very happy with boy or girl, despite thinking having two daughters would be fun. Delia is going to be a big sister regardless!
At this point, I've said goodbye to all forms of regular pants/jeans/shorts. I can still pull off some non maternity shirts since they make them so long now but I'm limited even there. It's been hot (very hot) so tank tops, skirts and shorts are my friends. Thank goodness I won't be in my 3rd trimester until September.
And now for a photo update....
19 weeks
20 weeks...taking advantage of the suit I bought! The pool has been our friend this summer. :)
And now here's the comparison that makes me think boy. On the left is 21 weeks along with Delia. On the right is 19 weeks with this baby. I'm so much more belly this time around.
At this point, I've said goodbye to all forms of regular pants/jeans/shorts. I can still pull off some non maternity shirts since they make them so long now but I'm limited even there. It's been hot (very hot) so tank tops, skirts and shorts are my friends. Thank goodness I won't be in my 3rd trimester until September.
And now for a photo update....
19 weeks
20 weeks...taking advantage of the suit I bought! The pool has been our friend this summer. :)
And now here's the comparison that makes me think boy. On the left is 21 weeks along with Delia. On the right is 19 weeks with this baby. I'm so much more belly this time around.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
weeks 17 and 18. baby kicks!
Last week we were in Cape Cod so I didn't try too hard to update. Unfortunately, vacation doesn't seem to have done good things for my weight (that I think was better this month up until that point).
I feel Artie move at least a few times a day now but he's really kicked it into gear in the last 24 hours. I felt kicks for the first time on the outside and Seth was able to feel it last night as well. Delia used to go crazy when I laid on my side in bed and this one seems to be following suit. I love feeling a baby. Such an amazing miracle.
Here's a picture catch up:
about 17 weeks and being brave enough to wear a bikini:
picture taken by my friend when I wasn't looking:
18 weeks preparing for an interview:
I feel Artie move at least a few times a day now but he's really kicked it into gear in the last 24 hours. I felt kicks for the first time on the outside and Seth was able to feel it last night as well. Delia used to go crazy when I laid on my side in bed and this one seems to be following suit. I love feeling a baby. Such an amazing miracle.
Here's a picture catch up:
about 17 weeks and being brave enough to wear a bikini:
picture taken by my friend when I wasn't looking:
18 weeks preparing for an interview:
Friday, June 15, 2012
16 weeks and tiny kicks.
Yesterday I felt a few small kicks. It's the first time I consciously felt them with this baby and I loved it. I can't wait to feel even more movement as this child continues to grow (he/she will double in size the next few weeks) and eventually be able to feel the little bumps and nudges with my hand from the outside. To someone who's never felt it, it's crazy unbelievable. It's like a little alien living in there. I love what our bodies are made to do.
Tuesday we officially hit "16 weeks". Only 1 month from halfway. I don't really feel as if this pregnancy is going too fast or too slow. My life is moving at a decent pace right now and I'm just taking it day by day, week by week. I don't expect to do this again, so I want it all to be enjoyed (as much as possible). I look forward to meeting my new baby but I also want to spend quality time with my Delia before she's no longer an only child.
16 week belly bump.
Tuesday we officially hit "16 weeks". Only 1 month from halfway. I don't really feel as if this pregnancy is going too fast or too slow. My life is moving at a decent pace right now and I'm just taking it day by day, week by week. I don't expect to do this again, so I want it all to be enjoyed (as much as possible). I look forward to meeting my new baby but I also want to spend quality time with my Delia before she's no longer an only child.
16 week belly bump.
Monday, June 4, 2012
15 weeks and baby movement.
I felt the baby! It was so subtle and quick that if I wasn't paying attention I would have missed it, but I did feel 2-3 kicks in the past couple days. I'm so excited to feel more.
This morning I had a regular appointment. I've gained 10 lbs (!) already. I know that's quicker than my weight gain with Delia but I'm not feeling too bad about it. I'm just eating more. I'm also staying pretty active. Artie's heart rate was 140 (boy?) which is the lowest yet. Everything seems good and healthy. I was hoping to schedule my anatomy scan today but they told me not until my next appointment. It was supposed to be 20-22 weeks but now 22-24 weeks. I don't know why the change but I'm going to have a really hard time staying patient. :/
Tomorrow is the official 15 weeks but I doubt there will be much difference between then and today's bump.
This morning I had a regular appointment. I've gained 10 lbs (!) already. I know that's quicker than my weight gain with Delia but I'm not feeling too bad about it. I'm just eating more. I'm also staying pretty active. Artie's heart rate was 140 (boy?) which is the lowest yet. Everything seems good and healthy. I was hoping to schedule my anatomy scan today but they told me not until my next appointment. It was supposed to be 20-22 weeks but now 22-24 weeks. I don't know why the change but I'm going to have a really hard time staying patient. :/
Tomorrow is the official 15 weeks but I doubt there will be much difference between then and today's bump.
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